I’m back!

After much too long of a hiatus, I am back.

This last year ended up being a bit of a lost year as far as many things go.  Life didn’t exactly go as planned in some ways and I got a bit down; good ol poor me attitude in many ways.  It wasn’t all bad as I have found a good bit more peace in my life, but I was letting life happen more than fully participating.  Showing up and going through the motions is better than not showing up at all, but it isn’t the way I am.

Here are a couple facts that I have finally owned up to:

  • I am overweight by way too much.
  • I am not actively deciding where I want to go and doing something about it.
  • While I am participating with my family, I can do better.

Yesterday, a few things happened that accumulated into what I needed to get me going again – a kick in the pants so to speak.

  • I saw that the Boulder Valmont bike park was selected for the 2014 Cyclocross Nationals and realized that I had absolutely no chance to race it in my current shape.  They don’t even offer races for the bottom categories I have been racing in and there is absolutely no way I could even qualify currently for an upper category.
  •  An acquaintance that I hadn’t talked to for a while mentioned during a conversation of “how’s life going” that the fire he used to see in me wasn’t fully there and I wasn’t carrying myself as powerfully as I used to.
  • In the past week several people have mentioned how they got inspiration from my exercise and determination that I used to do.
  • I started reading a friend’s blog at http://www.rectifyyourhealth.com/blog/ and a few things struck a chord.
  • In the past month, I’ve known of 3 people that have lost a loved one to Cancer, one to heart failure, and another has a relative currently battling massive heart issues.
  • It’s been nearly a year since my mom died and as I was lamenting about how out of shape I was to myself, my thoughts drifted to her and I’m pretty dang sure she smacked me a bit. I wasn’t raised to be one to self pity, I was raised to take the bull by the horns if needed. Somewhat of a “its been a year, now pull up the big boy pants and get back to life!”

So what am I going to do?

I’m honestly, still figuring it out a bit and will update that as I figure it out.

I do know three things:

  • I’m going to post up my weight and %fat at least monthly, yep somewhat turning this into a fat blog.
  • I will be a competitive cat 3 cyclocross racer by Jan 2014.
  • I’m not going to race just to race.

I’ve been giving lip service to dropping the fat that I have gained over the past 7 years for years now and have gotten down to 202lbs once, but keep going back up to 220+ with two spikes now into the high 230lbs.   I have put in quite a bit of exercise, even did a half iron distance duathlon in that time range; however it seems like I was always in the pre-race training mode where I wanted to be on top of my performance capability.  Being ready to race, meant that I wasn’t dropping the fat that I really need to drop as I didn’t want to be in the negative calorie wise and not be fully recovered for the next days efforts.  And in all reality, I was still training too hard too often and not actually going slow when I should have been.   I do still want to get in a half marathon if possible, the Bolder Boulder maybe, and hopefully one or two duathlons, but I have to be ok with possibly not beating my times for last year.  If I’m not ok with it, then I’ll not enter as I need to get the fat off and stop making excuses.

Weight really is only one part of the equation as I do have a large bone structure and I do have some decent muscle mass; however I really see no reason I should be over 200lbs unless I really want to build back all the muscle I’ve lost since I was pretty serious into weight lifting.  Having 36″ thighs, 52″ chest, and 23″ upper arms really didn’t offer much other than making it impossible to find clothes.  I do want to get a little bit back, but I was much better built in College than I am now and I was down at 175lbs then; granted that was 6-8% body fat.  For now I’m going to shoot for the 188lb range in two years with the body fat percentage being the much more important part.  That I would like to get in the 12% range or lower as I think that I can maintain that.

For the blog posts over the past year  – I may back fill some as I have quite a few posts from the last year mostly done, I just never got to finishing them and hitting post.  One thing I will do is post regularly, if nothing else than to hold myself accountable.  My weight 3 weeks ago was 227, not sure about the body fat.

Now for the cheesy quote that holds much truth

“time to get busy living, or get busy dying” – I know which choice I’m making.

1 comment to I’m back!

  • Hi Ben!
    Crap, I JUST saw this! Fantastic man! I just want to wish you luck in finding your direction. I have stuggles with many of the things you mention here and I just want to say that I will send motivating thoughts, comments, and blog posts your way but only if you promise to do the same for me. 😉 I’ve learned that I need people around me to keep me motivated and, in fact, on many an occasion your FB status updates have pushed me out the door to go and get active. The fact that I am on your bullet list of reasons why makes me feel good because I feel like maybe in some way I paid you back. I’m still a slacker and haven’t come to one of your races, but that will change this year I guarantee it!
    Keep your head up high and I will be watching to see what you have in store!
    P.S. I tried to subscribe but got an error. I will keep trying.

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